


atsumu's tinder escapades

by appleofmysirius



Series: osamu & atsumu [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Eventual Rom-Com, F/M, Falling In Love, Mostly Crackfic, Online Dating, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29143935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appleofmysirius/pseuds/appleofmysirius
Summary: Volleyball hotshot and one of Japan’s top 50 bachelors, Miya Atsumu is lonely (and horny, but you don’t need to know that). Relationships and love just don’t seem to work out for him, despite his earnest and most well-meaning efforts. At the recommendation of his teammates, he downloads Tinder. Here is his story.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Reader
Series: osamu & atsumu [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139087
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	1. intro

**Author's Note:**

> do read my house-husband osamu series! bc this is set in the same universe <3 
> 
> also the first few chapters will be atsumu/OCs but the second half will be atsumu x reader!

Sometimes- a very, very _rare_ sometimes- Atsumu is jealous of Osamu. Yes, they’ve both got their dream careers- though Atsumu could never imagine making rice balls for a living instead of playing volleyball. Yes, they’re both financially stable, though Osamu is somewhat of a kept man now. 

But Osamu has the one thing Atsumu longs for, other than for the lizard in his apartment to just _fuckin’ leave already_ \- which is a happy marriage. Osamu and his wife are nauseatingly cute and domestic and it rots Atsumu’s brain to even spend five seconds around them.

Naturally, it is extremely mortifying when Osamu finds out through that gossipy Ojiro Aran that he’s on Tinder.

“How did’ja even know, ‘Samu?” Atsumu whines, chewing on a tuna mayo _onigiri_. 

“Aran told me,” Osamu takes a sip of his tea, “His friend saw ya on Tinder and well, word spreads.”

“I’m just lonely, okay,” Atsumu moans, spreading his arms across the table and burying his face in them, “Yer don’t have the right to say anythin’, ya house-husband.” 

Osamu pats his back sympathetically, “There, there, not everyone is as lucky in love as I am.”

Atsumu wrenches his hand off, “Don’t mock me.”

“I’m not,” Osamu breathes, “better Tinder than that shitty farmer match-maker website Kita’s on.”

“He’s on a _what_ now?” Atsumu guffaws.

“Don’t laugh,” Osamu flicks his forehead, “Yer not much better.” 


	2. part one

Atsumu spends most of his Saturday morning off lounging in front of the television and swiping through Tinder. He comes across a profile of a beautiful girl with brown hair and sleepy green eyes- instantly, he’s drawn in.

hi, he texts, wyd

She replies back within moments- her name is Rin- telling him that she’s in town for the weekend and that she wants to meet up. Atsumu jumps at the opportunity- after all the horror stories he’s heard, who would suspect that Miya Atsumu be the one who succeeded at Tinder on his first try! Of course he would, he thinks, because he’s just that lucky.

He and Rin go back and forth for a bit, arranging a time and place to meet up. Sometimes, her replies to his questions are almost too eerie- it’s like she knows him personally. But he shrugs it off- maybe Rin is his soulmate. 

After confirming their meetup tomorrow at a cafe near his place, Atsumu texts her ‘can’t wait to see u baby. lookin 4ward 2 tmr ;)’.

Rin replies, ‘me too :)’. 

The next day, Atsumu dons a pair of jeans and a nice short sleeve shirt, spritzing on a little extra cologne so that he could impress Rin. 

im at the back of the cafe, seated by the orange painting, Rin texts him.

Atsumu makes the short walk down, entering the cafe and scanning his eyes to find Rin. To his horror, he finds a man sitting in Rin’s seat. A man that looks suspiciously like Suna Rintarou. 

“Suna,” he slams his hand on the table, “What the hell are ya doin’ here?”

Suna twirls his hair in his hand, “Here to meet you, baby.” 

“Yer Rin?” Atsumu gapes.

“Yeah,” Suna snickers, “I just used the Snapchat filter to make me look like a girl. Can’t believe you fell for it.” 

“No way,” Atsumu falls into the seat in shock.

Suna slides a caramel frapuccino over, “Commiserations. Besides, I heard from Aran that you joined Tinder, so I wanted to see if we would match.”

“That’s too cruel, Suna,” Atsumu whines, twisting the lid off his drink and licking up his whipped cream. He ignores Suna’s disgusted look at the whipped cream moustache he sports after. 

“Ew,” Suna says, “Good luck finding a girl with your table manners, you heathen.”


	3. part two

Feeling slightly weary after his encounter with Suna, Atsumu is much more discerning (no, he is not) over who he swipes right on. 

The image of a girl with the classic dark hair and dark eyes combo have got him stunned for a moment. He makes the daring swipe right across the screen, praying for her to be a match.

_Congratulations! Hana and you are a match!_

Thanking his lucky starts, Atsumu’s fingers fly across the keyboard as he types out a casual ‘ _wyd’_ to Hana. 

Hana responds a moment later. From her texts, Atsumu can gather she’s a very cheery person. Within hours of talking to her, she suggests they meet up. Atsumu agrees, arranging to meet her at the very same cafe he first encountered Suna at. But this time, he’s sure it’s at least a girl- after all, she uses cute emojis. And Atsumu knows with a burning conviction that men don’t use such emojis. They are men after all, he scoffs with pride at his revelation.

He agreed to meet her a few days after they first matched, so when the day comes, he rolls out the same battle plan as he did with ‘Rin’, well actually, Suna, but he doesn’t like to remember it like that. A nice shirt and jeans combo with an extra spritz of cologne. 

This time, everything goes according to plan. The Hana in the booth waiting for him is the Hana in the picture, and she speaks with the same cheery disposition that she texted with.

“I’m so glad we could meet today,” she gives him a smile, “There’s something I want to share with you.”

Atsumu quirks his eyebrow, curiosity peaked as she slams a thick binder on the table.

“Now, Urban and Young Living is a relatively new company, but it’s a fantastic way for you to generate passive income. Basically a second job without a job!” 

She flips the binder open to a picture of what looks like essential oils, not realising Atsumu’s rapidly dwindling interest, “So many people are signing on to Urban and Young Living and are taking advantage of the opportunity multi-level marketing offers them! All you need to commit to is a simple starting fee of $500, and we’ll send you an Introductory-”

“I gotta go,” he climbs out of his seat hastily, “Stomachache.” 

Atsumu frowns on his way out of the coffee shop, hands buried in his pockets. The multi-level marketing scheme aside, he sulks because he did actually blow $200 on those oils as a gift for his mom. And it took Hana’s binder full of pictures to remind him that he made the order six months ago but never received his essential oils. Damn, he thinks, kicking a pebble, multi-level marketing came back to bite him in the ass twice over already. 


	4. part three

Atsumu honestly wishes he could say that he was more discerning with his dates. After all, his first match-turned-date was actually Suna and his second was acting as a shill for a pyramid scheme. Needless to say, he was miffed. Is it so hard to imagine that he just wants a happy relationship like his brother?

Third time’s the charm, because he’s agreed to meet another girl at the coffee place near his house. He intentionally hovers outside the cafe to make sure he can properly survey the area for unsavoury characters. 

The girl who he’s agreed to meet sits there in a sundress, scrolling through her phone. He calms down a little, approaching her. 

“Hi,” she smiles, but falters as it appears she’s forgotten his name.

“Miya Atsumu,” he smiles, taking the seat across her. 

“Right,” she nods, disinterested, “Anyways I ordered this for you.” 

She slides an iced americano over to him, which he eyes warily. He normally prefers his coffee on the sweeter and milkier side, with tonnes of whipped cream and sugar, so this isn’t something he wants.

“Oh come on,” she rolls her eyes, “You don’t drink americanos?”

“No I do,” he hastily replies, taking a big sip. He nearly spits it out- because this isn’t _just_ an americano. It’s bitter and thick and icky.

“What the hell is this?” He asks, chagrined. 

“Iced Americano with 3 extra shots of espresso. I’m surprised you can’t handle it, Keiji could.” 

“Who’s Keiji?” He asks, eye twitching- whether from annoyance or the caffeine overload, he will never know. 

At this, she finally smiles. “Oh, my ex. Well not really- we’re kind of on a break right now. But he’ll realise the mistake he’s made.”

The coffee isn’t the only bitter thing he has to swallow, “Then _why_ are ya on a date with me?” 

“To weigh my options,” she answers in a matter-of-fact tone, “And to make him jealous, I guess.” 

Whipping out her phone, she snaps a quick photo of him, adding it to her instagram story. “There!” She smiles with satisfaction. 

They have painful small talk for a little bit until her phone lights up with a notification from the ‘Keiji’ in question. The victorious gleam in her eyes would be funny if it were not for the fact that Atsumu was a pawn in her entire plan.

“He wants me back!” Her glossy lips curve into a smile. 

Rising out of her seat, she pats his cheek and collects her coffee. “Bye, uh- Atsushi!” 

“It’s Atsumu,” he gripes, stirring through the tar she bought for him. 


	5. part four

Atsumu bemoans the latest date he went on, where he was basically a rebound in someone’s game to get back with her ex. And now, he was sitting in his apartment, feeling lonely after Osamu posted a picture of him and his wife on a date. 

His phone chimes with a tinder alert, and as he swipes it open to read the message, he’s surprised. 

‘ _i really like your eyes’_ it reads. He scrolls through your profile to see whether he’d be open to responding to your message. What meets him is a couple of pictures of you smiling, and one of your full body, by all accounts a normal profile.

But it’s the first time in this entire debacle that he’s met with someone who seems genuinely interested in him. No one has ever taken the trouble to compliment him the way you just have. 

The two of you exchange back and forth for a bit as Atsumu finds it hard to keep the smile from his face at your cheeky personality. He takes the plunge for the fourth time- he asks you out.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr - @1tooru


End file.
